how to act at a live music venue part II

This is part II of the new series introduced recently.
Please see this page for Part I, The Grand Entrance.

INTERACTING WITH THE BAND - REQUESTS (and so it begins)
Musicians are skilled mind readers. Only refer to your requests with the phrase "play my song!" It should be obvious that someone who can remember all the music and words to several songs also can recall the favorite ditty of every patron who ever walked into the bar. If that doesn’t work, help jog their memory by using the phrase: “you know, it goes like, uh,” and then look past the musician as if you are thinking. Continue standing right there with that look until the musician can figure it out. In any case, it’s best to be vague, since musicians also love to be challenged. Do not be deterred if the band claims not to remember “your song.” This is a lie. They can always remember “your song,” and are simply attempting to offend you.

If you forget this, and actually tell the band the name of “your song,” the band may try to tell you that they do not know how to play it. Do not be deterred, because this is a lie. Encourage the band by singing a few words for them. If one member halfway knows part of a chorus, the rest of the band will instantly learn the entire song by osmosis. Now that you know this, if the band still claims to not know "your song," the best action is to keep requesting the same song every chance you get. Since the band’s number one objective is to offend you, you may have to be persistent. Other persuasive arguments include reminding the band that they played the song last week, although that time incorporated a female vocalist, a funny looking keyboard player, and different words on the “big drum.”


coming soon - Part III - INTERACTING WITH THE BAND - REQUESTS (your song is important)